MICKEY GOLDMILL ON FIGHTERS TODAY

So today we have an interview with former lightweight boxer and trainer of two-time heavyweight champion Rocky Balboa, Mickey Goldmill.

Host: So Mickey, how are you today?

Mickey: What? Do you see me talkin here? Then stay there til I'm done.

Host: I'd like to ask you about the sport of boxing today.

Mickey: I don't care what nobody says, this bum Klitschko woulda never made it in the thirties.

Host: Really? The 1930's?

Mickey: Facts is facts. Eddie Chambers is a bum.

Host: You think everyone Klitschko fights is a bum.

Mickey: Well ain't they?

Host: Could you have given Sam Peter pre-fight advice?

Mickey: This is the second shot. At, uh, I don't know the biggest title in the world, and you're gonna be swappin' punches with, with the most dangerous fighter in the world. And just in case, you know your brain ain't workin' so good. All this happens pretty soon and you ain't ready. You know you're no where near in shape. So I say, for God's sake, why don't you stand up and fight this guy HARD? Like you done before, that was beautiful! But don't lay down like this! Like, uh, I don't know, like some kind of mongrel or something. Cause he's gonna kick your face in pieces! That's right! This guy don't just wanna win, you know, he wants to bury ya, he wants to humiliate ya, he wants to prove to the whole world that you was nothin but some kind of a freak the first time out. He said you were a one time lucky bum!

Host: How about Evander Holyfield? Should he get a shot at one of the Klitschko's?

Mickey: What do you think the champ would do to him?

Host: Hurt him bad I guess.

Mickey: Nah, he'd hurt him permanent. Permanent.

Host: How about a fighter like say Juan Urango?

Mickey: You want the truth? He's got heart but he fights like a goddamed ape!

Host: How about an extraordinary boxer like Roy Jones?

Mickey: He thinking about retiring?

Host: No

Mickey: He should think about it.

Host: Lets talk about Winky Wright

Mickey: Known him since he was fifteen. A waste-a life. He's a disgrace to this sport!

Host: What is your take on Antonio Margarito getting a fight with Manny Pacquiao?

Mickey: What's happened is freak luck. Look at all them other fighters. Real good boys. Good records. Colorful. Fight there hearts out for peanuts. But who cared? Nobody.

Host: Any advice for the Mexican?

Mickey: Let me put it this way. Now, three years ago he was supernatural. He was hard and he was nasty and you had this cast-iron jaw but then the worst thing happened to you, that could happen to any fighter. He got civilized. But don't worry kid. You know, presidents retire, horses retire, Man-o-war retired. They put him out to stud. That's what he should've done, retired

Host: But he's not going to retire, do you have any other advice?

Mickey: Go for his ribs. Don't let'em breathe!

Host: Let's talk for a moment about your boxing career.

Mickey: Look at this face -- twenty-one stitches over the left eye, thirty-four over the right -- my nose was busted seventeen times, the last being the Sailor Mike fight New Year's Eve, 1940, in Camden, New Jersey -- What a professional pastin' I give him. Here, read about it

Host: [looking flustered] What are your thoughts on welterweight Andre Berto and his questionable footwork?

Mickey: Forget the footwork -- He's off balance. The legs are sticking everywhere. Marciano had the same problem, an' the string cured it. When he can hit and move without breakin' the string he'll have balance. He'll be a very dangerous person.

Host: How good do you think Yoriorkis Gamboa will in two years?

Mickey: He's gonna eat lightnin' and crap thunder.

Host: How would you train Chad Dawson for his rematch with Jean Pascal?

Mickey: Chicken-chasing is how we used to train back in the old days. If you can catch this thing, you can catch greased lighting.

Host: It seems like more and more fighters are left handed. Is this a good thing?

Mickey: Left handed fighters, they're the worst. They try to come in there with that big left. Right's no damn good. They ought to outlaw southpaws!

Host: Let's talk about the best fighter of the last decade, Manny Pacquiao. Floyd Mayweather says he's just another fighter.

Mickey: This guy's crazy. Don't listen to him, and No he ain't just another fighter. This guy is a wrecking machine.

Host: What about Floyd Mayweather and his unbeaten record?

Mickey: That was easy!

Host: What do you mean easy?

Mickey: They was hand picked!

Host: Set-ups?

Mickey: Nah, they wasn't set-ups, they was good fighters but they wasn't killers.

Host:What would you have said of Floyd fighting the Big Show?

Mickey: What's the matter with you? Why do you wanna fight this guy? Does anything normal go through your head? I seen wrestlers as big as dinosaurs. You ever fought a dinosaur, kid? They can inflict a variety of damage!

Host: Rickey Hatton has been in the news lately. He fights at 140 pounds. What do you think he weighs today?

Mickey: About 202 pounds.

Host: Let's spend a minute on the ladies. How about Carl Froch's woman?

Mickey: Definitely a ting of beauty.

Host: Thank you Mickey Goldmill!

BRAVO!!!!

Great stuff, I just made my wife read this before she went to work and she got a chuckle.

When you have him saying "world" I hear it in my head as "Woild".

This is just great stuff, Scott Levinson would be proud.

cute stuff..im sure thats what mickey would of said..

hardcoreBEE24 wrote:

BRAVO!!!!

Great stuff, I just made my wife read this before she went to work and she got a chuckle.

When you have him saying "world" I hear it in my head as "Woild".

This is just great stuff, Scott Levinson would be proud.

Too bad we never got Scott over here.

The one I hear in my head is "he'd hurt you poim-a-nent."

Comedy

This might be the greatest thread ever!!!

marbleheadmaui wrote:

hardcoreBEE24 wrote:

BRAVO!!!!

Great stuff, I just made my wife read this before she went to work and she got a chuckle.

When you have him saying "world" I hear it in my head as "Woild".

This is just great stuff, Scott Levinson would be proud.

Too bad we never got Scott over here.

The one I hear in my head is "he'd hurt you poim-a-nent."

It's a shame he never came over here. I had his email but it was stored on an account that was hacked.

I love the ignoring the "er" in a word and replacing it with "oi". Old timers in Brooklyn do the opposite, they replace "oi" with "er". So "TOILET" becomes "TERLET" and "OIL" becomes "ERL".

Remember Butch and "WOIM"?

hardcoreBEE24 wrote:

marbleheadmaui wrote:

hardcoreBEE24 wrote:

BRAVO!!!!

Great stuff, I just made my wife read this before she went to work and she got a chuckle.

When you have him saying "world" I hear it in my head as "Woild".

This is just great stuff, Scott Levinson would be proud.

Too bad we never got Scott over here.

The one I hear in my head is "he'd hurt you poim-a-nent."

It's a shame he never came over here. I had his email but it was stored on an account that was hacked.

I love the ignoring the "er" in a word and replacing it with "oi". Old timers in Brooklyn do the opposite, they replace "oi" with "er". So "TOILET" becomes "TERLET" and "OIL" becomes "ERL".

Remember Butch and "WOIM"?

Archie Bunker gets the terlet think right on. A Little Rascals fan huh? I knew there was a reason I liked you!

Host: Lets talk about Winky Wright

Mickey: Known him since he was fifteen. A waste-a life. He's a disgrace to this sport!


bwahahhahaha

Speed, speed, SPEEEEEEEEDDD!!!!!

Deja jew.

Hardcore, what's up bruh? You're right. I am proud.

Weird you guys were mentioning me and just todsy in the shower I was replaying the Rocky III post-statue unveiling scene in my head.

Marble, that was hilarious.

marbleheadmaui wrote:

hardcoreBEE24 wrote:

marbleheadmaui wrote:

hardcoreBEE24 wrote:

BRAVO!!!!

Great stuff, I just made my wife read this before she went to work and she got a chuckle.

When you have him saying "world" I hear it in my head as "Woild".

This is just great stuff, Scott Levinson would be proud.

Too bad we never got Scott over here.

The one I hear in my head is "he'd hurt you poim-a-nent."

It's a shame he never came over here. I had his email but it was stored on an account that was hacked.

I love the ignoring the "er" in a word and replacing it with "oi". Old timers in Brooklyn do the opposite, they replace "oi" with "er". So "TOILET" becomes "TERLET" and "OIL" becomes "ERL".

Remember Butch and "WOIM"?

Archie Bunker gets the terlet think right on. A Little Rascals fan huh? I knew there was a reason I liked you!

Oh yeah my sister and I were definitely given an education on the rascals,stooges, abbott and costello etc. My folks have a good sense of humor.

All in the Family takes place in Corona Queens and I guess they have that accent too. Its funny to hear it actually used.

Scottlevinson wrote:

Deja jew.

Hardcore, what's up bruh? You're right. I am proud.

Weird you guys were mentioning me and just todsy in the shower I was replaying the Rocky III post-statue unveiling scene in my head.

Marble, that was hilarious.

glad to have you here mang!!!! Great fight talk over here.

Scottlevinson wrote:

Deja jew.

Hardcore, what's up bruh? You're right. I am proud.

Weird you guys were mentioning me and just todsy in the shower I was replaying the Rocky III post-statue unveiling scene in my head.

Marble, that was hilarious.

Holy Shit its scott. How are you sir?