This post is about a day in my life. If you're not interested, please don't read.

Last week was a struggle. Being over my old buddy's house, hugging his wife, helping the family with funeral arrangements,etc. I've known his two sons all my life, yet I've never seen these expressions on their faces.

Tuesday was our day for more years than I care to admit (Let's just say it lasted longer than most of the girls I date have been alive. LOL: ) That's when he'd come off the road, relax at home and we'd talk on just about anything. Whether you're on the top or the bottom, the life of an artist is a lonely one. Once I skipped a few weeks and his wife privately shared with me that it wasn't a very good idea. To my surprise, I was the only company he got.

It seemed like yesterday we were working together on the most important project of my life (which he bankrolled) because, for the most part, it was. Two years ago we created a documentary on his amazing life which will last forever in the minds of those who loved him.


This Tuesday, I'd like to think we're getting together for the last time. However, we're not. He's gone. That's the negative. The positive is that many people are heartbroken and these folks will travel hundreds and in some cases, thousands of miles, to share the grief of those who knew him best.

Personal problems. Yes, I have them but I'm supposed to at this point. I recentely embarrassed myself at a party by drinking too much (It's not good to be around a lot of drinks when you're under tremendous pressure - smile.). The fact that a married woman from next door came in the festivities and scared the hell out of everyone by flirting heavily with me, and, in my drunken state I obliged her, makes matters worse. (For my slower readers, let me point out that my so called tough guy friends were scared because her husband was next door.) Even worse, the lady appeared to be pretty even before I had my first cold one. I never want to see her again, not even in my nightmares.

To keep from doing stupid things and going into an area of self destructive behavior, I may write these posts now and then until I feel like I'm approaching sanity again.

An "off the record" observation. Since this is really my first experience with something like this, I can't help but think about boyhood friends that go into battle together for the sake of their country, whatever that country is. Growing up together only to see your buddy blown away and vanish in a cloud of smoke is something I can only imagine. I'm not condoning or condemning the art of war here. Just becoming more sensitive to the emotional repercussions that soldiers suffer.

It's ok man. It's what we're here for. Vent out whatever you want to.

Yeah some crazy stuff man. I have lived in a military town my entire life, plenty of people I went to school with have given their lives overseas already and it wasn't too long ago I graduated(2004). I have family over there as we speak, tough thing to go through.
I have also lost loved ones far too soon. One of the ones that impacted me the most was when my cousin, who was more a friend then any other relative I ever had was killed in a motorcycle accident because of the mistake of someone else. He was only 24 years old.
I wish you and your friends and family nothing but the best. Tough times.

Believe it or not I've been helped with personal stuff on this site, and I hope it helps you too.

OU wrote:

Yeah some crazy stuff man. I have lived in a military town my entire life, plenty of people I went to school with have given their lives overseas already and it wasn't too long ago I graduated(2004). I have family over there as we speak, tough thing to go through.
I have also lost loved ones far too soon. One of the ones that impacted me the most was when my cousin, who was more a friend then any other relative I ever had was killed in a motorcycle accident because of the mistake of someone else. He was only 24 years old.
I wish you and your friends and family nothing but the best. Tough times.

Thanks a lot OU.

fRANK,

everyone has hardships, the battle is to get over the greiving and turn your friendship and experiences into positive thoughts or lessons in your life.

I agree Cu Bua.

Frank - anyone who knows about grieving will tell you writing this stuff out is helpful. Writing it here is as good a place as any! All the best man.

Airing dirty laundry here is all the rage lately. What will you do if her husband finds out?

Thanks Tobe.

Wolf, the party consisted of a group of guys who grew up together. She had no business there taking advantage of a drunk, grieving man. Fuck her and her husband. Honestly, I doubt her husband does anything. It's not like I screwed her. Also, do you think it's the first time she's done this? I don't.

Oh I thought you had sex with her. What exactly did you do?

Actually, my memory eludes me which is why I got a ride home. I drunk too much. I recall us taking a walk around the neighborhood and I think we kissed. The lady who threw the party ( a friend of mine) told me that she had only positive things to say about me. She was just glad she "Got to express her feelings." Look, I'm just as cool as the next guy but not counting college, I rarely get any action drunk. However, she bought over the wine. LOL Babe is really bad news.

Ya, you fucked her. You aint foolin no one.

Wolfgangsta wrote:

Ya, you fucked her. You aint foolin no one.

Not a liar, Wolf. A lot of things but that's not one of them. Also, the party was crowded and I couldn't screw her in the street for God's sake. No, we did not have sex.

Hang in there Frank and let Father Time do his magic. It doesn't really get better, but the edge comes off.

I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words.

I got home from the "Wake" last night where the documentary we did was shown. It produced a mixture of emotions that I haven't experienced before.

When I get home, the dangerous married lady from the party called. She left a message. The so called female friend of mind gave her my number but not without telling me that her husband was a gun collecter. Ok. Don't think I'll show up at her parties again. Women are funny sometimes.