The Joke Thread

If this has been done before sorry but I see a lot of fun threads so i figured this would be a good one so if you got a joke or one you've heard lets see them.

Q) Why do tampons have strings?

A) So crabs can go bungie jumping.

[quote="Deezy0814"]If this has been done before sorry but I see a lot of fun threads so i figured this would be a good one so if you got a joke or one you've heard lets see them.

Q) Why do tampons have strings?

A) So Wolf can tell a Vagina from an Asshole!

A) So LA can pull the plug out when he has to take a dump! (No spilling allowed on Cubes clients)

A) Because Killer uses them as a sinker when fishing on the bottom of the lake.

A) Because Cain Fan likes nasty air fresheners in his tractor!

A) Because Wolf thinks they make cool Earrings!

A) Because Ali likes too floss after Fish N Chips!

A) Because BBC12 thinks they look cool on my Handle bars as streamers! Vroom Vroom Bitches!


Fixed!

I can keep going

F to the A to the I to the L

tolivendiewithLA wrote:

F to the A to the I to the L

No Way! I made the joke better in many ways in minutes. It's hard work over here son! Oh and 11-5 Page in Pride.

Bet Wolf has a good comeback you slacker LA!

This is a joke I've known since I was like 8 from my Dad, I looked it up because I didn't feel like typing it, this is pretty much it, enjoy.


The President of Acme Toothbrushes is packing up his files and papers in anticipation of his Friday afternoon round of golf, when suddenly his desk intercom buzzes. "There's a gentleman here to see you, sir," his secretary says. "He's here for the sales position."

Grumbling unhappily, the President tells the secretary to send the man in. In walks this man -- short, ugly, balding, and speaking with a strange harelip.

"I'm here for the job," he says.

"Fine" says the President. "You have a one-week trial period. Pick up the toothbrushes outside." With that, he leaves.

One week later, the short man shows up again.

"Well?" says the CEO.

"Not so good, sir. I only sold 5 toothbrushes. But give me one more week! I'll do better! I'll be the best damn salesman in your company!"

"Fine. Go and sell them then."

The following week, the short man shows up at the office again and proclaims, "I sold 2,000 toothbrushes!"

"What?! How did you do that?"

"Well, it was quite simple. I went to the airport, you see, and I set up a table for the people coming off the plane. I had a bowl of chips at one end, toothbrushes in the middle and dip at the other end. They would take a chip, walk past the toothbrushes, and get some dip. I'd ask them, 'How's the dip?' They'd say, 'It tastes like SHIT!' And I'd say, 'It is Shit! Want to buy a toothbrush?"

A) Because GDP can't find his wife's keys and helps find them via "Sniff"!

A) Because Ninja fan uses them as nunchucks so he doesn't get anymore bruises to the dome!

A) Josh2006 thinks they look cool tied to his braids! (You had em at one time, don't lie)

A) LTFG uses them to soak in his tea after a long hard day of getting angry over people in general! (LA, Here's lookin at you kid!)

tolivendiewithLA wrote:

This is a joke I've known since I was like 8 from my Dad, I looked it up because I didn't feel like typing it, this is pretty much it, enjoy.


The President of Acme Toothbrushes is packing up his files and papers in anticipation of his Friday afternoon round of golf, when suddenly his desk intercom buzzes. "There's a gentleman here to see you, sir," his secretary says. "He's here for the sales position."

Grumbling unhappily, the President tells the secretary to send the man in. In walks this man -- short, ugly, balding, and speaking with a strange harelip.

"I'm here for the job," he says.

"Fine" says the President. "You have a one-week trial period. Pick up the toothbrushes outside." With that, he leaves.

One week later, the short man shows up again.

"Well?" says the CEO.

"Not so good, sir. I only sold 5 toothbrushes. But give me one more week! I'll do better! I'll be the best damn salesman in your company!"

"Fine. Go and sell them then."

The following week, the short man shows up at the office again and proclaims, "I sold 2,000 toothbrushes!"

"What?! How did you do that?"

"Well, it was quite simple. I went to the airport, you see, and I set up a table for the people coming off the plane. I had a bowl of chips at one end, toothbrushes in the middle and dip at the other end. They would take a chip, walk past the toothbrushes, and get some dip. I'd ask them, 'How's the dip?' They'd say, 'It tastes like SHIT!' And I'd say, 'It is Shit! Want to buy a toothbrush?"

Pretty good.

I could tell it better than have someone read it, but not really a joke teller, not my style of humor.

tolivendiewithLA wrote:

I could tell it better than have someone read it, but not really a joke teller, not my style of humor.

Still a good joke. I'm out, see ya guys tomorrow

Q) Do you know what the difference between a blonde and a mosquito is?

A) You smack the one it stops sucking.

Have you talked to bofa?
bofa who?
Bofa dees nuts

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike", the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes sir", the little girl said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a saftey violation.
The cop said "Give this to your dad, and next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on back of it!"
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, "Yes, he sure did!"
The little girl looked up at the cop and said: "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!"

OUSOONERSOU wrote:

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike", the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes sir", the little girl said, "He sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a saftey violation.
The cop said "Give this to your dad, and next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on back of it!"
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, "Yes, he sure did!"
The little girl looked up at the cop and said: "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!"

LMAO

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette mother all get together to talk about their daughters and gossip

the red head says I was going through my daughter Jennies purse , and I found pot, I didnt even know she smoked, Im so worried what do I do?

the brunette says well I was going through Mandie's purse and I found a fake I.D. I didnt know she was drinking at all, what should I do?

Then the blonde chimes in, well I was going through my daughter Cindy's purse and I found a condom, I had no idea that she had a dick, what the hell should I do.

If a tree falls on a woman.... wait... what is a forest doing in the kitchen?

sokolkevin wrote:

Have you talked to bofa?
bofa who?
Bofa dees nuts

My old GM used to ask if any of us had Bofa at the China Buffet here in town. This guy answered back one time that it was awesome. We laughed all day and rode him out. You don't have to lie to kiss the bosses ass. lol true story

I have a few choicy racist jokes that I wont share because they're pretty bad. Everyone has 'em, so dont sound shocked lol

NoRegret wrote:

I have a few choicy racist jokes that I wont share because they're pretty bad. Everyone has 'em, so dont sound shocked lol

Yeah I heard about you ol boys square dancing, burning a cross, and telling racist jokes down at the Klan meeting. lol

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

NoRegret wrote:

I have a few choicy racist jokes that I wont share because they're pretty bad. Everyone has 'em, so dont sound shocked lol

Yeah I heard about you ol boys square dancing, burning a cross, and telling racist jokes down at the Klan meeting. lol

You forgot about us doing our ritual gang banging of your wife!

NoRegret wrote:

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

NoRegret wrote:

I have a few choicy racist jokes that I wont share because they're pretty bad. Everyone has 'em, so dont sound shocked lol

Yeah I heard about you ol boys square dancing, burning a cross, and telling racist jokes down at the Klan meeting. lol

You forgot about us doing our ritual gang banging of your wife!

NICE COMEBACK! Burned me.

NoRegret wrote:

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

NoRegret wrote:

I have a few choicy racist jokes that I wont share because they're pretty bad. Everyone has 'em, so dont sound shocked lol

Yeah I heard about you ol boys square dancing, burning a cross, and telling racist jokes down at the Klan meeting. lol

You forgot about us doing our ritual gang banging of your wife!

oh i've got plenty too regret but im w/ you i won't divulge my secrets because i don't wanna piss any one off

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

NoRegret wrote:

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

NoRegret wrote:

I have a few choicy racist jokes that I wont share because they're pretty bad. Everyone has 'em, so dont sound shocked lol

Yeah I heard about you ol boys square dancing, burning a cross, and telling racist jokes down at the Klan meeting. lol

You forgot about us doing our ritual gang banging of your wife!

NICE COMEBACK! Burned me.

Na don't worry about it Beast, it's really just them in a circle jerk with a picture of your wife in the middle

Sorry Regret

here's one i heard a while back it's not that funny but ill share it any way.

A guy walks into a bar and while he's there he orders a full shot and a half shot. The bartender, looking confused, pours both and asks "whos the half shot for?" The guy pulls a leprechaun out of his shirt pocket and says him.

So as they both take their first shot, they see a guy down the bar who has a staring problem, so the leprchaun runs to the end of the bar and spits in his face.

As they're taking their last few shots the leprechaun runs to the end of the bar and spits in this guys face. this guy is so steaming mad by now he picks the leprechaun and tells him "you little son of a bitch, you spit in my face again and i'm gonna chop your little pecker off!" So the leprechaun smiles back at him and says " we leprechauns don't have peckers so that's why i've been running to the end of the bar and spitting in your face all night"