Could you do it?

Let's pretend you are with your wife, kids, mom, girlfriend, etc. Say you are enjoying nature and out of nowhere a black bear shows up ready to kill the person you are with. Could you defend them, or would the bear maul you both. You can have a pocket knife also.

I would be found half eaten in a pile of shit and piss, unless by some miracle I land the luckiest stab known to man....In that case I will be showing up at your door in a week asking you if you have time to talk about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

You obviously defend. You have a great chance of scaring the bear off before you even see it especially if you are in a group. Black bear attacks are extremely rare and mostly occur because people are to ignorant about how to travel scent wise. A bear can smell your food, your deodorant, your chap stick, any of it. They don't show up ready to kill unless you stumble into their cubs. In that case hug your ass and take your mauling because you won't win a fight with a momma bear, be still, nonthreatening. Black Bears only act aggressively towards humans as a last resort of action. They are not predators.

In HS our ghetto ass baseball team would jump you in (basically beat you for a bit if you resisted it was bad if not you just got a few bumps probably no hits to the face) So After practice I learned on the walk back to the LOcker room it was my turn so I go to the door and stripped naked ducked into the basketball room(chain link seperated rooms) and started dancing. The mexicans didnt know what to do and I didnt get jumped in.


So I would do that

If a bear comes after me I'm pulling a brad pitt and using a tree for cover I'll cut one of the bears claws off, get the spirit of the bear then kick a bunch of ass and fuck a bunch of hot chicks.

Blasted a black bear with the front of my little car a few weeks back, does that count? When my insurance company is done jacking my rates after the $5200 repair bill, I'm sure I'm going to feel like that bear got the better end of the deal...

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

Blasted a black bear with the front of my little car a few weeks back, does that count? When my insurance company is done jacking my rates after the $5200 repair bill, I'm sure I'm going to feel like that bear got the better end of the deal...

Did the bear limp away or did you get the kill? If you got the kill you have to mount it.

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

Let's pretend you are with your wife, kids, mom, girlfriend, etc. Say you are enjoying nature and out of nowhere a black bear shows up ready to kill the person you are with. Could you defend them, or would the bear maul you both. You can have a pocket knife also.

I'm going to change my answer. I will give my pocket knife to the bear so that it would be a fair fight, I will use the Marquart spinning combo to stun the bear then jump on its back to pull off the Hughes standing RNC. Once the bear is down I will jam my hand into it's chest, rip out it's heart and take a big bite out of that bitch. Then I will have the bitch stuffed and mounted to display my victory to the world.

GDPofDRC wrote:

You obviously defend. You have a great chance of scaring the bear off before you even see it especially if you are in a group. Black bear attacks are extremely rare and mostly occur because people are to ignorant about how to travel scent wise. A bear can smell your food, your deodorant, your chap stick, any of it. They don't show up ready to kill unless you stumble into their cubs. In that case hug your ass and take your mauling because you won't win a fight with a momma bear, be still, nonthreatening. Black Bears only act aggressively towards humans as a last resort of action. They are not predators.

Bears aren't predators? I have heard of a few stories in Tennessee where bears have killed children with parents close by. Either way this bear is hungry and coming after your kid or wife so what do you do?. I walked out of the chalet I was staying in on my honeymoon and a bear was in the trash can and it looked at me and ran. So you are right for the most part.

OUSOONERSOU wrote:

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

Blasted a black bear with the front of my little car a few weeks back, does that count? When my insurance company is done jacking my rates after the $5200 repair bill, I'm sure I'm going to feel like that bear got the better end of the deal...

Did the bear limp away or did you get the kill? If you got the kill you have to mount it.

To be honest... I didn't stop to check. I don't pack a piece in my car and I wasn't checking on an injured bear. Plus, it wasn't mature and I certainly didn't want to risk an angry momma bear being close by!!!

go for the eyes

It's rare but not completely uncommon. They eat 95% garbage and vegetation and will hunt bugs and fish if they can, though a lost little toddler might be easy pickens. They are real big scavengers. Grew up in normal bear country in California Sierra Nevada, they are more pests then threats unless you are careless or plain dumb, but there are some rare occurrences of violence. Had a lot of run ins with them at garbage bins though. Had a little argument with one last summer. Was staying in a tent cabin at Curry Village after hiking Half Dome and about a 200 pounder comes trotting through the site checking locks on cabin doors and food bins. I was sitting out side while two chicks were in the cabin napping. Our food bin was latched shut but the tent cabin wasn't. Stupid chicks I was with apparently didn't think the sign that says to keep all your scented stuff in the food bin out side of the tent was serious, like make up, yeah right, separate a girl from her fucking eyeshadow. get real. So the bear is trying to get it's claws in between the cracks of the door and I'm like fuck this isn't good. Luckily it could just scratch the door while I held this little latch and the girl was trying to lock it freaking out. I opened the window shade I yelled FUCK OFF as loud as I could about 4 feet away from his face, It was kinda surreal and odd. The bear stopped and just looked at me with this face that said, oh my goodness I am so sorry, like a movie or something then went to the next bin and tent and was fucking with those. About 30 seconds later some wacko camping next to us blasted the bear for like ten seconds with bear mace. I shit you not, that was painful as hell for everyone within 100 yards. The smell of it was really mild and light, but it left you with this physical internal pain, like the air you were breathing was made of sandpaper and the way your face feels about 10 seconds after you get violently slapped across the checks. One of the girls I was with puked all kinds of nastiness up. Other people were doing the same all over. The rangers were pissed. A few more bears came back around later that night. The rangers have paintball guns that shoot paint balls filled with mineral oil, apparently they hate the smell of that, and it doesn't make everyone around hate living like the bare mace.

I suffered through that novel, good story. Cliff's Notes would be nice though.

I'm writing a book. Volumes actually.

Remember the movie The Great Out Doors, With Ackroyd and Candy? That lake they filmed the movie at was home when I was little. The scene were they go feed the bears was ridiculous. There was none of that going on, the feeding anyways. But bears at dumpster, oh yeah.

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

OUSOONERSOU wrote:

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

Blasted a black bear with the front of my little car a few weeks back, does that count? When my insurance company is done jacking my rates after the $5200 repair bill, I'm sure I'm going to feel like that bear got the better end of the deal...

Did the bear limp away or did you get the kill? If you got the kill you have to mount it.

To be honest... I didn't stop to check. I don't pack a piece in my car and I wasn't checking on an injured bear. Plus, it wasn't mature and I certainly didn't want to risk an angry momma bear being close by!!!

Pussy! lol

bigbeastcardinal12 wrote:

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

OUSOONERSOU wrote:

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

Blasted a black bear with the front of my little car a few weeks back, does that count? When my insurance company is done jacking my rates after the $5200 repair bill, I'm sure I'm going to feel like that bear got the better end of the deal...

Did the bear limp away or did you get the kill? If you got the kill you have to mount it.

To be honest... I didn't stop to check. I don't pack a piece in my car and I wasn't checking on an injured bear. Plus, it wasn't mature and I certainly didn't want to risk an angry momma bear being close by!!!

Pussy! lol

Damn right, I'm a big guy and will go when necessary against almost any opponent... But if it's a 100 pound feline, a furry primate bigger than a Capuchin or any bear species bigger than my boxer, I'm avoiding it at all costs or curling up in a ball with my thumb in my mouth if confronted... lol

Why is everyone so scared? They look so cute and cuddly

OUSOONERSOU wrote:

Why is everyone so scared? They look so cute and cuddly

I could take the 2nd one if I had too, or atleast make it run off. People that get mauled by a Black Bear usually run from them or ball up. If you get loud and go at them when they are in attack mode your chances are way better. If I was alone I would try to get up a tree, but I have seen where that doesn't work out so well also. Better to bite than be bitten. Now none of us together could take a Brown Bear. Too big.

See that skull, Sooners? The Bear I hit was probably 50-75 pounds. That skull was so thick and hard that it blew the front of my car (grill and spoiler) into pieces (and didn't leave a blood stain, so I'm assuming the collision didn't blow the skull up). It literally looked like a wrecking ball hit the front of the car. That's a hard freaking melon... lol

LikesToFightGuy wrote:

See that skull, Sooners? The Bear I hit was probably 50-75 pounds. That skull was so thick and hard that it blew the front of my car (grill and spoiler) into pieces (and didn't leave a blood stain, so I'm assuming the collision didn't blow the skull up). It literally looked like a wrecking ball hit the front of the car. That's a hard freaking melon... lol

lol that is good shit, I bet you left that bear will a killer headache and a little paint stuck to his furr

Been on a trail before and scared off a black bear, if it decided to attack ur pretty much fucked, Black bears don't by that playing dead shit.

tolivendiewithLA wrote:

Been on a trail before and scared off a black bear, if it decided to attack ur pretty much fucked, Black bears don't by that playing dead shit.

So you would ball up too? Pretty much "fucked" means you aren't going to defend urself. I am not talking about being locked in a cage with one.

I'm not fast enough to even make the chase interesting. I would have better luck going for an eye or just stabbing like a wild man.

OUSOONERSOU wrote:

I'm not fast enough to even make the chase interesting. I would have better luck going for an eye or just stabbing like a wild man.

I haven't tried a dead sprint in a while (Afraid to blow something out at my age)... I'm guessing I'm not very fast anymore either. But I do run daily and can go for miles. If I have a good head start and can keep it from closing early, I know I can outlast it...

If not, I'm afraid it might grab a leg and make me its bitch...