HAHAHA Funny Revenge of the Sith Script

features lines like this

The IGUANA’S sounds are ear-piercing and awful, making the AUDIENCE MISERABLE during any scene containing it. EWAN rides it up to GENERAL GREVIOUS and challenges him.

EWAN MCGREGOR

I will attempt to destroy you now, without waiting for my support troops to arrive.

GENERAL GREVIOUS

(coughing)

Are you serious? You’ve lost literally every single duel you’ve been a part of except for the one with Darth Maul. Hayden constantly mentions how many times he has saved you. What have you done in the entire prequel trilogy so far to prove that you’re actually a decent fighter?

and this

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN runs up to SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Samuel, I rented the original Star Wars trilogy from Blockbuster. I’m pretty sure Ian McDiarmid is a Sith Lord.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON

Then it’s time to get medieval on some ass.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Let me come with you.

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON

No, go your room.

and this hahah

SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON and some OTHER JEDI go to see IAN. Meanwhile HAYDEN stares out the window of the JEDI TEMPLE, toward NATALIE PORTMAN’S APARTMENT. Though he says nothing, we can see that he is conflicted, trying to decide between his commitment to the Jedi order and his love for his wife. NATALIE, at the same time, gazes toward the Jedi Temple, wondering what will happen to her husband.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

How pathetic is it that the most well-acted scene between us is the one in which we are in separate buildings and have no lines?


http://www.the-editing-room.com/revengeofthesith.html

Suddenly, IAN unleashes some force lightning on SAMUEL, which he absorbs into his lightsaber and somehow pushes back onto IAN, which causes him to grow old, apparently. Despite this, IAN refuses to stop doing it.

IAN MCDIARMID

Must… bridge… gap… to… original… trilogy…

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Wow, you really can absorb force lightning with a lightsaber. Someone really, really needs to tell Luke that. Anyway, Ian, I think Samuel is about to rip you a new one, mind telling me how to save Natalie real quick?

NATALIE PORTMAN

Hayden! I heard you’ve gone toward the dark side! It’s not true, is it? Why are your eyes all red?

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

(furrowing his brow)

You brought Ewan, didn’t you? To actually act well and make me look wooden and awful!

NATALIE PORTMAN

Of course not! I’m even worse than you in this movie, why would I bring someone capable of acting well here?

EWAN MCGREGOR

It’s over, Hayden. I’ve got the high ground, just like Darth Maul did in Episode 1 right before I killed him successfully. Ignoring that, if you jump over to me, I will cut your shit off.

HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

You underestimate my power to decide not to jump to the low ground in front of you where I will be able to safely continue duelling, but to instead try to jump all the way over you and get my shit cut off!

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Where’s Natalie Portman? Suddenly I am worried about her again.

IAN MCDIARMID

It seems that in your overacting, you killed her.

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Wow, you’d think that would really make me see the error of the Dark Side, realize the Jedi were right all along, and kill you right now. Ah well.

IAN MCDIARMID

So, now that the movie is over, would you say that the prequel trilogy was worth making?

DARTH HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Bird...you gotta stop this.

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