Love or Religion?

What's more important to you?

Would you marry someone from a different religion? would they have to convert or would it not bother you? how about your future kids? what religion would you expect them to be?

Good question.

Love conquers all.

GDPofDRC wrote:

Good question.

Love conquers all.

No it doesn't. Just broke up with my GF because she was too scared to take the risk of losing her family. I'm Muslim and she's Italian Catholic but her parents said they will never accept me and that if she stays with me they will disown her.

So does she love her family more then you love your religion?

GDPofDRC wrote:

So does she love her family more then you love your religion?

How can I possibly answer that?

Honestly.

The US is suppose to be all about religious freedom. I personally don't care about what religion anyone is. But I can see it being a real problem for some people. Especially those that are very committed to their religion. Seems like we have alot of people though that aren't real serious about their religions. I don't think I could be with someone that was deep into their religion. But seems like more often then not these days people aren't fully committed to any religion. But most bible thumping Christians feel it is there mission to convert everyone, so that could be a big problem in a relationship.

It doesn't make sense. I don't know the exact amount of love she has for her parents. I would never give up my religion though just so her parents would accept me.

freakzilla wrote:

It doesn't make sense. I don't know the exact amount of love she has for her parents. I would never give up my religion though just so her parents would accept me.

So are you personally open to marrying someone of a different religion? Or would she need to convert? Does your religion allow you to marry someone of a different faith?

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

It doesn't make sense. I don't know the exact amount of love she has for her parents. I would never give up my religion though just so her parents would accept me.

So are you personally open to marrying someone of a different religion? Or would she need to convert? Does your religion allow you to marry someone of a different faith?

The only religions we are allowed to marry outside of Islam are Christianity and Judaism with the rule that our kids must be brought up Islamic.

freakzilla wrote:

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

It doesn't make sense. I don't know the exact amount of love she has for her parents. I would never give up my religion though just so her parents would accept me.

So are you personally open to marrying someone of a different religion? Or would she need to convert? Does your religion allow you to marry someone of a different faith?

The only religions we are allowed to marry outside of Islam are Christianity and Judaism with the rule that our kids must be brought up Islamic.

Interesting, I wasn't aware that you were allowed to marry outside your faith. Are you obligated to attempt to convert them?

Thanks, I think I understand.

I still feel that if you care enough about a person, all the other bullshit doesn't matter.

GDPofDRC wrote:

Thanks, I think I understand.

I still feel that if you care enough about a person, all the other bullshit doesn't matter.

That's what I said to her. Her parents should love her unconditionally.

GDPofDRC wrote:

Thanks, I think I understand.

I still feel that if you care enough about a person, all the other bullshit doesn't matter.

I agree. If she doesn't feel the same way then maybe you don't have what you thought you did.

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

It doesn't make sense. I don't know the exact amount of love she has for her parents. I would never give up my religion though just so her parents would accept me.

So are you personally open to marrying someone of a different religion? Or would she need to convert? Does your religion allow you to marry someone of a different faith?

The only religions we are allowed to marry outside of Islam are Christianity and Judaism with the rule that our kids must be brought up Islamic.

Interesting, I wasn't aware that you were allowed to marry outside your faith. Are you obligated to attempt to convert them?

You can but you don't have to. We believe that Islam is basically an evolution of those 2 faiths and that's why we can marry only from them 2.

OU wrote:

GDPofDRC wrote:

Thanks, I think I understand.

I still feel that if you care enough about a person, all the other bullshit doesn't matter.

I agree. If she doesn't feel the same way then maybe you don't have what you thought you did.

I told her that she doesn't have to practice Islam but her parents and best friend hate Muslims and they have manipulated her into believing that once we get married I will change and will be strict on her and she would lose them.

freakzilla wrote:

OU wrote:

GDPofDRC wrote:

Thanks, I think I understand.

I still feel that if you care enough about a person, all the other bullshit doesn't matter.

I agree. If she doesn't feel the same way then maybe you don't have what you thought you did.

I told her that she doesn't have to practice Islam but her parents and best friend hate Muslims and they have manipulated her into believing that once we get married I will change and will be strict on her and she would lose them.

So she is being torn between her friends and you? Is she taking their word over yours?

Her best friend and her parents. Her father actually said the words if you keep going out with him then you are dead to me.

Her father hates Muslims and Blacks. He said that she has to marry an Italian Catholic. He said he doesn't believe in love and that security, family and same faith are more important.

freakzilla wrote:

Her father hates Muslims and Blacks. He said that she has to marry an Italian Catholic. He said he doesn't believe in love and that security, family and same faith are more important.

Ok so we know what her parents and friends believe, but what does she believe? What does she think is right and wrong?

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

Her father hates Muslims and Blacks. He said that she has to marry an Italian Catholic. He said he doesn't believe in love and that security, family and same faith are more important.

Ok so we know what her parents and friends believe, but what does she believe? What does she think is right and wrong?

She wants it both but is afraid of losing her parents. I told her I would never stop her seeing her parents or friends. I told her as long as our future kids are Muslim I don't care but she wasn't certain that she wanted her kids different to her. She is really close to her mum and has never really stood up to them. At the end I think losing her family scared her too much. She didn't want to lose either but her parents convinced her that if she chose them she would never lose them but a relationship could always end and she'd be all alone because she would've already lost them.

1 of my close mates' parents actually ran away from Bosnia together after her parents wouldn't accept him. She is Muslim and he Serbian Orthodox. They have been happily married for over 30 years now.

freakzilla wrote:

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

Her father hates Muslims and Blacks. He said that she has to marry an Italian Catholic. He said he doesn't believe in love and that security, family and same faith are more important.

Ok so we know what her parents and friends believe, but what does she believe? What does she think is right and wrong?

She wants it both but is afraid of losing her parents. I told her I would never stop her seeing her parents or friends. I told her as long as our future kids are Muslim I don't care but she wasn't certain that she wanted her kids different to her. She is really close to her mum and has never really stood up to them. At the end I think losing her family scared her too much. She didn't want to lose either but her parents convinced her that if she chose them she would never lose them but a relationship could always end and she'd be all alone because she would've already lost them.

I'm asking what she thinks is right and wrong. Does she agree with anything her parents and friends are saying? Does she believe what they are saying is right? Or does she think they are completely wrong in their beliefs? If she thinks they are wrong in their beliefs then it comes down to whether or not she wants to stand up for what she feels is right. But if she is unsure on what is right and wrong the you have a major problem on your hands and she needs to figure out what she believes in her heart is right.

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

OU wrote:

freakzilla wrote:

Her father hates Muslims and Blacks. He said that she has to marry an Italian Catholic. He said he doesn't believe in love and that security, family and same faith are more important.

Ok so we know what her parents and friends believe, but what does she believe? What does she think is right and wrong?

She wants it both but is afraid of losing her parents. I told her I would never stop her seeing her parents or friends. I told her as long as our future kids are Muslim I don't care but she wasn't certain that she wanted her kids different to her. She is really close to her mum and has never really stood up to them. At the end I think losing her family scared her too much. She didn't want to lose either but her parents convinced her that if she chose them she would never lose them but a relationship could always end and she'd be all alone because she would've already lost them.

I'm asking what she thinks is right and wrong. Does she agree with anything her parents and friends are saying? Does she believe what they are saying is right? Or does she think they are completely wrong in their beliefs? If she thinks they are wrong in their beliefs then it comes down to whether or not she wants to stand up for what she feels is right. But if she is unsure on what is right and wrong the you have a major problem on your hands and she needs to figure out what she believes in her heart is right.

Basically this. She's been brought up 1 way her whole life and I've totally confused her when it comes to these matters.

Sounds like your lady friends needs to do some soul searching and figure out what she thinks is right and what she thinks is wrong. Can't sit on the fence on this, it won't work. But not only that she needs to determine how far she will go to do what she feels is right. Good luck with your situation, but based on the information given, she has a long ways to go.